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Things To Do In Denver When You’re Down 1-0 in the Western Conference Semifinals: A Mavs/Nuggets Live Blog

After the jump, FreeDarko‘s Bethlehem Shoals and I (and possibly others) chop it up — about Mavs/Nuggets Game 2, and probably a few other tangentially related subjects. Refresh often.

Start of 1st Quarter, 9:50 pm

ZC: I’m going to miss Hubie Brown and his decision to only refer to Chris Andersen as Birdman.
BS: Everyone only refers to him as Birdman. I wonder if they don’t know his real name. Or can only accept being taken out by him if he’s some sort of mythical beast.
BS: Jesus, does Chris Webber need any more pathos? “Shoeless” Chris Webber?
ZC: Really love the way Dirk says “Birdman.”
BS: Todd pointed out it’s like “Birdmann”
ZC: Right. “Frank Birdmann, D.D.S.”
BS: Does he know that’s not Andersen’s last name?
BS: Did anyone know who Chris Andersen was before this year?
ZC: Just Denver-area meth dealers
BS: I have heard many rumors of what his substance of choice was. I want to go to my grave knowing that.
BS: It’s probably one of the first things I ask people. If they know that about Andersen, that is.

BS: I hate to be the guy saying this, but isn’t it weird that Webber is jumping all over Dirk (ESL, btw) for committing a linguistic faux pas that suggests he’s shook?
BS: I think we have a clash of civilizations here.
BS: Webber aside. Has anyone ever suggested that Dirk knows the code of the streetz?
ZC: I think pretty much everything Dirk has ever done refutes that pretty solidly. Knowing the code of the streetz at least
BS: Doesn’t he sleep on a beanbag surrounded by uncashed paychecks? Actually, that is totally hood.
ZC: Yes. He is accidentally hood in that way.

9:59
BS: Are you worried about Howard? Or rather, have you any hope for him tonight?
ZC: I think busting the other ankle may turn him into the Josh everyone kind of hates. Which is to say, late Mavs-era Michael Finley.
BS: Dirk is going to drop 40.

10:02
ZC: There it is. Two games ago, he would have passed or driven to the hoop. Don’t like that.
BS: See, something is going on in Dirk’s head. I just wish I knew what
BS: Scratch that
BS: What I meant to say is that it seems like Dirk is both cowed and aggressive.

10:04
ZC: “Birdmann” checks in.
BS: I don’t think I’ve ever seen any professional athlete as popular as Andersen.
BS: He’s like Santa Claus
ZC: No kidding. And he has the crazy back story. It’s like he was invented by a consortium of old SI dudes and the And1 guys
BS: I am a little disturbed by his Lynyrd Skynyrd thing. Mostly because that article made it sound like he got into them in his 20s. Which makes no sense to me. This Nuggets team is one big nickname.

10:09
BS: Watching Billups and Kidd go against each other is liking watching an entire lifetime’s worth of announcer plaudits flash before me. Does anyone every say anything even neutral about them (on national tv?)
ZC: It’s impossible. They are dueling Brett Favres and every announcer is Madden. Worst/best is a Collins/Harlan announce team
BS: Doug Collins thinks he’s esoteric, but really he’s just senile. Or maybe it’s just a forest and trees thing.
BS: That shade of yellow is an unfair advantage. It hurts to look at.
ZC: It’s like playing against a traffic school

10:13
BS: “The ultimate greenlight.” I would like to see what that looks like. Supposedly Nellie gave that to Jackson. Literally and figuratively.
BS: Be on the lookout for the Nuggets trainer.
ZC: Do you think J.R. Smith glares at the vending machine when he gets a soda?
BS: That or chest-bumps it until all the quarters come rushing out onto the floor.
ZC: Dirk is so weirdly honest.
BS: You know, if you watch that clip again, Dirk grabs his jock as he flies across the floor.
BS: Yeah, he is. Guileless.

10:18
ZC: If the championship was based on severely questionable tats, would Denver be an unbeatable dynasty?
BS: [Howard goes to locker room.] Is this for the best?
ZC: Probably.
BS: Anderson’s tats are all from bongs.
BS: Or white-person low-riders.
BS: It is bizarre that it’s somehow better if Howard misses the rest of this game.
BS: It makes you realize just how stupid the Willis Reed thing is.
BS: Howard was IN MORE PAIN THAN HE’D EVER BEEN IN BEFORE. Isn’t that verbatim Reed?
ZC: After Paul Pierce, I just don’t buy that gambit anymore. Too hyped by the announce team
BS: It seemed like they made a lame attempt to do it here, though.
ZC: It does make the Willis Reed thing crazy overblow
BS: Whoa. Did you just coin a new verb?
ZC: That was my secondary objective tonight
BS: Patent that s–t.

10:26

BS: See, Dirk and his jumpers.
BS: He’s got the eye of the jumper.
BS: Don’t patent that.
ZC: Deal. What I don’t understand is that people give Dirk shade over the fadeaways. That’s his THING.
BS: No, I’m saying, I think he’s one of those players who can be bad-ass with the jumper
BS: Without being profligate
ZC: No, you weren’t one of those “people”
ZC: I saw that
ZC: I was thinking of C-Webb
ZC: and others
BS: Ah

It’s Denver 30-Dallas 22, by the way. End of 1st.

BS: I just had to look up Birdman’s personal history for my real-world co-watchers. I didn’t know he was a U of H drop-out.
BS: Someone just chatted this to me: “is it uncouth to say that pj sounds like he’s been sexually assaulted? that’s what i ultimately think about him”

10:31
BS: I would love to get a video compilation of all the weird NBA/blockbuster promo hybrids
BS: My favorite was “Lord of the Rings” where they showed Garnett doing that arm thing
BS: Or “Day After Tomorrow’ where they showed a billboard break and then, inexplicably, Derek Fisher
ZC: I’d buy that.
BS: I like Rick Carlisle, but he is totally “Law and Order” bad guy.
ZC: The guy you know did it as soon as he appears on screen
BS: …but still has that turning point where it’s really obvious, and his voice changes, and the lighting changes

BS: I want to live in a J.R. Smith/Andersen mini-series.

10:34
BS: Billups must clown Andersen mercilessly.
BS: For not owning a suit.
ZC: Absolutely. And for probably about 99 other things.
ZC: And now “Birdmann” has completely caught on
BS: Did PJ just say it?
BS: “The Bird”
ZC: Other guy
ZC: “The Birdmann”

10:37 DEN 40-DAL 33

ZC: I know I may have said this before, but J.R. Smith always reminds me of Papa Doc from 8 Mile
BS: I can see that.

10:41

BS:See, Yao got the Willis Reed.
ZC: Happens every series now
BS: So why didn’t Howard get that respect?
ZC: BECAUSE HE HATES AMERICA
BS: It’s just kind of sad. He tried to play hurt and no one even cared. I bet Webber says something about that. Unless he’s still all aggro.

10:44 DEN 47-DAL 38

BS: Do you think K-Mart and Kidd remember that they were in the Finals together. . . twice? I can tell you, it seems like another me that watched those games.
BS: “Watched”
ZC: Feels like that was longer ago than Kidd’s first tour through Dallas.
BS: That is very true. And eerie. And reminds me why I don’t watch “Lost.” The Mavs need to do something to keep this one from getting away.
BS: On the other hand, that the Nuggets seem to have totally asserted themselves but haven’t run away with it… is just weird. And fairly Nuggets.

BS: Someone named Rudy said this was the worst live blog ever.
ZC: Maybe I should be breaking down Xs and Os
BS: i am totally letting your readers down. btw i am incapable of breaking down x’s and o’s. if you want to do some of that, i’ll eat this tandoori chicken i made

10:51 Playoff foul by Hollins. DEN 49, DAL 42
10:54: DEN 53, DAL 47

BS: also was looking at this
ZC: Iola just became a city in 2007?

BS: It became a city when Chris Andersen was there serving his suspension.

BS: Wow, I am sitting with someone who is only now seeing the “Just a Friend” commercial for the first time. And he’s an NBA fan. I’ve watched like five games with him. Uncanny.
ZC: how has someone who is an NBA fan not seen that commercial?
[Ryan Hollins killing it, by the way. DEN 53, DAL 50. 1:40 left in the 2nd]
BS: He says he’s just never noticed it. But it really affected him. He started dancing.

BS: Wow. Three-point game.
ZC: I think the only way to beat JR Smith is to goad him into taking nothing but half-court shots. But then again, that’s his range.
BS: The way to beat the Nuggets is to give him and Andersen the ultimate greenlight.
BS: Like a kid who only misbehaves because he knows it pisses you off.
Smith can’t make those shots if you admit he can make them.
BS: This is some gutsy Mavs.
ZC: They should be down by 20
BS: This is one of those games where if we looked at the box score, we’d be totally confused.

Giant three by Kidd. DEN 58, DAL 55 at the half.

From Mr. Eric Celeste: “Chris Webber saying Dirk’s attitude needs to be more like his, huh? C-Webb’s playoff averages: 18.7 and 8.7. Dirk’s through last year: 25.3 and 11.1. That doesn’t even get into the fact that C-Webb is noted as one of the all time 4th-quarter cowards of all time.”

Second Half, 11:24

BS: I am here to say, with great basketball authority, that that’s a lot of bench points.
ZC: No doubt.
BS: The Nuggets don’t know what to do when the going stops being fun.
BS: This is an important test for them.
BS: It’s a shame Rudy’s not here to see this.
BS: Carmelo is so stealth on this team.
ZC: He really is. Half the time you forget he’s there, then he drops 30 in a quarter

DEN 64, DAL 58 9:35 in the 3rd Quarter.

BS: Full disclosure: I recorded a podcast last night about how the Nuggets might actually be contenders. So Dallas’s resilience is troubling.
BS: Dirk is really dialed in.
ZC: Dirk is killing it.
BS: I think it’s weird that Dirk says that the big men all give him problems, so they put Dahntay Jones on him.
BS: Are those George Karl mind games?
ZC: I think sometimes George Karl is openly f—ing with the game
BS: Which is why Billups comes in handy.
BS: People forget that K-Mart has had microfracture on both knees. That is totally insane.
ZC: It’s more amazing than Amare. Even if K-Mart isn’t as good

DEN 71, DAL 71 6:09 in the 3rd

BS: Sometimes I think Martin is more consistently explosive. Whatever, the fans, don’t want to hear this. “The fans.” This is one of those breath-holding games. Like, can Dallas possibly continue to hang? It’s impressive, but kind of scary.
ZC: Total house of cards. They get another play like Singleton blowing a dunk and JR nailing a three, this could go blowout quick.
BS: Then again, holding up a house of cards is no small feat.
BS: Has anyone ever heard Dirk play saxophone?
BS: AND LIVED TO TELL ABOUT IT
ZC: It’s almost urban myth at this point
ZC: He needs to just step up, and knock that s–t out at half of the first game next season
ZC: Put up or shut up

[Score unchanged. 5:45 left in 3rd]

ZC: WTF just happened?
ZC: Sideline reporters at every game and nothing?
BS: That took way too long. It was like in wrestling when there’s an accident.
BS: I like when they tell the sideline reporters “great reporting”
ZC: did someone just suplex Cuban onto the Mexican announcers table?
BS: And no footage to tell the tale. . . .

BS: I like how Billups doesn’t score at all, and it’s viewed as “he knows when his team needs offense.”
ZC: I want to have that respect as I age. Just do nothing all day, nail one assignment before 5, and look like a genius

DEN 77, DAL 76 3:49 left in 3rd

BS: Is Billups more reputable than Kidd? How the hell did that happen?
ZC: It’s absolutely bizarre. I really think this DEN season has cemented his status. Which I don’t think he or Denver thought was happening. He stays in Detroit, he’s still a step down I think.
BS: My real world co-watcher says this probably has something to do with Iverson. And how soon people forget Kidd turning around NJ
ZC: Both are probably true, I suppose.
BS: Billups is way more Nash/Schilling than people admit. Wait, let me change that
BS: Basically I am just outraged that he gets more dap than Kidd
BS: When he is a total late bloomer
BS: Who outright sucked in the beginning
ZC: But I don’t think the Nash/Schilling is completely off.

DEN 84, DAL 78 1:38 in 3rd, 10-2 Denver run

BS: Denver is also just much better at generating momentum than Dallas.
ZC: Yes. Crazy people tend to be that way.
ZC: Maybe not crazy.
BS: I know what you mean. There’s a reason people act like Smith and Andersen are the center of this team.
ZC: I think that’s why Carmelo is sort of hidden with them. He’s not overly emotional and balls-out bonkers like Birdmann and JR. And he’s not the calm professional like Billups.

DEN 86, DAL 83 End of 3rd.

BS: Key to Dallas keeping it this close? In the fourth
ZC: Ride Dirk. He’s feeling it. If this was at the AAC, he’d have already done the crazy, low fist pump, pulling his shorts/bottom of his jersey thing about 50 times.
ZC: Good point from Joey/Straight Bangin’ in the comments: “the nuggets seem like a perfect team for karl because he can say basically anything he wants in the huddle, and it probably means nothing. that’s quite a respite from the pressure”

BS: Is the fourth quarter the Nuggets’ time or Jason Terry’s time? I am totally confused!
ZC: If it’s time for James Singleton to be shooting threes, I’m turning the blog off.

DEN 91, DAL 83, 11:01 in 4th

BS: I was going to say, that looks a lot like the wheels coming off.
BS: “Turning the blog off.” Patent that ish!
ZC: It is kind of like watching an episode of Streetball: K-mart to Birdman to NeNe
etc.
ZC: Most tattooed and most nicknamed?
ZC: [Bringing it full circle]
BS: Birdman. It’s become his real name, and his tattoos are identifiable.
BS: It is true what someone said in the comments. This is still a very close game.
BS: As in, the fawning over the Nuggets ignores the fact that they haven’t won this yet.
BS: 10 points now.
ZC: Hmmm.
BS: Okay, again on cue. Hmmm what?
ZC: That Melo breakaway. Feels like it killed it
BS: But all that did was take it from 10 to 12.
BS: This really is the secret of the Nuggets.
BS: And what the Mavs need.
BS: Pulling off five-point plays (to bring it full circle)
ZC: Ok, you’ve convinced me. But if the Mavs miss eight consecutive threes without attempting a two, don’t say I didn’t “hmmmm”
ZC: Never mind.
BS: I thought we were agreeing!
ZC: So confused now. Take it again from the top.
BS: I was just saying that the Nuggets have this ability to make one basket seem like a huge run.
BS: Or make opening up a decent lead make it seem like the game’s over.
ZC: True. Ok. I get it now.
ZC: Got punch drunk for a moment.
BS: The ghost of those Singleton threes?
ZC: Yes. That took the fight out of me. It was like seeing Matt Carroll unsnapping his warmups.

DEN 100, DAL 85 6:43 in 4th

BS: So in the same way that the Hawks need a vocal leader, the Mavs need someone stupid
ZC: Good point. Who’s the dumbest guy available?
BS: Let me check. I have a database for that, actually.
BS: Jamal Crawford.
ZC: That actually feels perfect
BS: Ben Gordon?
ZC: Even better. Yes. Cuban is the guy who would make the silly offer it would take. Totally see that.

DEN 105, DAL 89 5:25 left in 4th

BS: Crawford will be available cheap for trade. Gordon’s unrestricted. You have to get both because Carlisle will “accidentally” kill one during training camp.
ZC: [love the L&O call back]
ZC: Does PJ just have a list of obvious things to say? He’s like a 1950s robot
with a 1960s college coach voice
and 1970s glasses
BS: That just blew my mind.
Overblew it, even.

ZC: I feel like I just watched Game 1 again.

DEN 115, DAL 96 2:30 left in the fourth

BS: Yeah, wait. Why didn’t we realize that sooner?
ZC: No idea, but it’s the exact same pattern

BS: Have we gone this whole game without a broadcaster saying that the Birdman thrives in high altitudes? Or, rather, was it inevitable he went to Denver? (inevitable from a genius self-marketing standpoint)

BS: Okay, it’s time for you to turn the blog off.

FINAL: DEN 117, DAL 105. Denver up 2-0 in series.