Bowling Report: Big, Bad Chris Burney on Mavericks, Rangers And Bowling For Soup’s Newest Batch

First of all, is “album” still used? Or did I just make a complete geezer of myself? Whatever you want to call it – album, CD, MP3 download – Wichita Falls/Denton’s Bowling For Soup has a new one coming out later this year. Meanwhile, the BFS boys, who have all settled around the Metroplex, are playing at Taste Addison Saturday night (Foreigner follows! Awe. Some). I’ll be taking a one-night break from live blogging the Rangers to see the show and to taste all that Addison has to offer.

Hey, Burney: Aim that guitar somewhere else, man!

Burney is not just a rocking guitarist. He’s also a sports fan, a big sports fan. So, we thought we’d check in with him on the local scene. The guy knows his athletics. We’re thinking about adding him to the stable of Corner bloggers. What do you think? Even if you have no interest in Bowling For Soup – and shame on you for that – you should check out out his thoughts on spooooooooooooorts!. … And if you are a BFS fan, you’ve got to check out his thought for possible use of Tony Romo in lyrics. After all, Troy Aikman made it into “Ohio” (or Come Back To Texas, if you prefer), so it would seem only natural that the latest Cowboys QB would find his way in there, too.

OK, here we go:

Me:  Do the Mavs have a shot in this series with Denver?

Him:  I want to say yes and believe that they do, but unless they win 2 at home, they are headed for an early vacation.  I do think that just by getting into the playoffs as a 6 seed can be looked at as a positive thing.  This Mavs team is headed for some big changes.  Personally, I would still love to see Dirk a part of the future plan of the Mavs.  I think they need some help in the defensive end if we are going to win a championship.

Me: Denver’s Chris Andersen has gotten a lot of pub early in the Mavs-Nuggets series. Let’s talk about what he really brings to the game: Tats. What you got on them?

Him:  I am sick of “Birdman” already.  Mostly out of jealousy because he is eating the Mavs lunch at the moment.  He is the prefect example of what the Mavs are missing this season.  A defensive spark plug and all around hustler.  He is the darling of TNT at the moment for sure and I am sick of him blocking shots, grabbing boards and wreaking havoc on the Mavs.  As for his tattoos, they are definitely better looking than the average NBA’ers tats.

Me: .What Bowling For Soup song would most accurately describe the Mavs? The Rangers? The  Cowboys?

Him:  The Mavs would be “Almost”  for obvious reasons.  The Miami Heat took their best chance at glory yet.  The Rangers would be “Friends O’ Mine” because no matter how terrible they are, I still love them nonetheless and I am glad they are here.  The Cowboys I will give them “Greatest Day”  They are one of the greatest sports franchises of all time and they’ve had many many great days with more to come.

Me:  Hey, you often wear a Nowitzki jersey on stage. Is he your favorite local pro athlete? Why don’t you run through your all-time faves by local team and tell me what you liked about them.

Him: Dirk is definite a favorite at the moment.  All time faves are…Mavs- Jason Terry because he plays with a smile, Dirk Nowitzki because he shoots the rock better than any big man, Mark Agguire because he was a pure scorer, and Derek Harper because he was a great court general for the Mavs.  As far as Rangers- Toby Harrah for being a tough throwback type infielder, Nolan Ryan is easy to love…he’s one of the best ever, Ivan Rodriguez and Jim Sundberg because we had two of the greatest defensive catchers ever in Texas.   As far as Cowboys, Robert Newhouse for being a punishing blocker and a big reason for the success of Tony Dorsett, Staubach for his ability to make plays and comebacks out of nothing, Randy White for being a vicious and nasty throwback defensive tackle.  As Far as Dallas Stars, my buddies Brad Lukowich and Blake Sloan.  I met them in 1999 and they became pals and they really gave me an incentive to watch Stars hockey.  Good dudes.  I met Brad when I broke into the Stars Dressing room at Reunion.  We were playing a xmas show for the Edge.

Me: What’s your best memory of pro sports in the area?

Him: Winning a Stanley Cup while we played a show in Abilene.  We basically stopped playing and watched the game and we got paid to do so.  The crowd was glued to the TVs in the place as well and the place went nuts when Hull scored.  Also, Super Bowl wins!

As for a great moment at old Arlington Stadium, I saw a Hall-of-Famer game with DiMaggio, Mantle, Gibson, Feller, Willie Mays, Hank Aaron, and many others.  It was a quite an awesome memory.

Me: Rangers: For Real or not? Discuss.

Him:I always think they are for real. Winning for the Rangers is a matter of just having an average pitching staff.  I think they are at the moment.  There are some holes in the bullpen as well as a hole or 2 in the rotation but we have young arms in the system that I think we will see in Arlington soon.  It’s a good thing that in the last few years, we have held on to our pitching prospects rather than ship them off for little in return.  They will always be an offensive team and I think it’s awesome that Ron Washington is using the speed to steal bases and manufacture runs.  It shows they can win close ball games even when the bats are quiet.  Hammy will be back soon though and I expect the offense to get a boost.  Kinsler has had an MVP-ish first month.  I’m excited about the season; they seem to be back to playing good ball.

Me: Troy Aikman found his way into a BFS song. When are Romo and Jessica going to make it into lyrics? How would that line go?

Him: I am not sure but I think it would be something like… “Romo’s been a no-show since he’s been with that fake hoe, maybe she should go to Buffalo and hang out with T-O.”

Me: Let’s talk about the new CD. Breaking any new ground here or is this hard-rocking and rollicking as we’ve come to know you? Any pop culture icons get especially skewered this time around? If not, we’re disappointed.

Him: The name is “Sorry for Partyin’ ” and we are yet to get a release date but we are looking hopefully at early Fall.  It’s basically the same old Bowling for Soup type record with loads of word-play, sexual innuendos, and such.  We don’t really rip into too many people on the record because we are all getting too old and fat to run from people who are pissed at us.