D

Live Blog Feed

Caption Contest: What Rangers Do On Off Nights

Posted on May 18th, 2009 9:29am by Evan Grant
Filed under Baseball, Contests and Promotions, Good causes, Texas Rangers

"Yeah, but it looks good on you, Elvis." (Photo: Brad Newton)

They dress the rookies up as the cast of Anchorman (Chris Davis playing the Ron Burgundy role and Derek Holland no doubt as Brick) and they make them sing “Afternoon Delight.” This was all part of the annual “Triple Play” charity function last night at the Hilton Anatole and, as usual, it was a big hit. I’ve been three of the last four years – did not make it last night due to near narcoleptic conditions – and every time it’s been creative and funny and the players are in good spirits. And in the past, that’s been with a bad team. Can only imagine what atmosphere was like last night.

OK, so, offer up your best caption here and win a prize. I don’t know what’s in the prize vault, but we’ll find something. For the record, from left to right, you’ve got Chris Davis, Matt Harrison, Elvis Andrus, Taylor Teagarden and Derek Holland.

19 Comments to “Caption Contest: What Rangers Do On Off Nights”

Ehren @ May 18th, 2009 at 9:42 am

It’s called Sex Panther by Odeon. It’s illegal in nine countries… Yep, it’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good. 60% of the time it works, every time.
Kyle @ May 18th, 2009 at 9:53 am

Ron Burgundy: Brian, I’m gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.
Brian Fantana: They’ve done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time
Kyle @ May 18th, 2009 at 9:53 am

Ron: Brian, I’m gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.
Fantana: They’ve done studies, you know. 60% of the time it works, every time
morgan @ May 18th, 2009 at 10:19 am

“I will take your mother out to a nice seafood dinner then never talk to her again!”

or

“I’m a pretty big deal…I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.” -Ron

or

“Milk was a bad choice.” -Ron

or

“Brick killed a man”
“Yea he stabbed him in the heart with a trident!”
“Yea Brick I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that: you should probably lay low for a little while.”

or

“You stay classy San Diego.”
Last of the Romohicans @ May 18th, 2009 at 10:30 am

Holland: Crap, where did I put the pink back-pack. Eddie will kill me if he finds out I lost it.

Andrus: I’ve got enough bubble gum and sun flower seeds to last til July!

Or… if standard internet-disambiguation of “caption” is disallowed (I.E. No dialogue:

“Rangers rookies re-inact Eddie Guardado’s prom night, circa the last time the Rangers had a reliable pitching staff”
becca @ May 18th, 2009 at 10:47 am

i don’t have any witty captions because it is monday morning and i haven’t turned on my brain yet. but i do enjoy the fact that elvis is the only one without a mic, but he is holding two maracas.

and harrison’t shoes scream awesomeness too.

that is all. back to the funny people.
Greedycheese @ May 18th, 2009 at 11:15 am

The Texas Rangers reveal their new batting practice uniforms.

or

The Texas Rangers: Built for Disco!
Quoner @ May 18th, 2009 at 11:15 am

Andrus: You know, times are changing. Defensive shortstops can do stuff now and you’re going to learn how to deal with it.

Davis: What? Were you saying something? Look, I don’t speak Spanish.
Tom B @ May 18th, 2009 at 11:45 am

” Take my Shortstop, He’s a Vir-geen.”
David C @ May 18th, 2009 at 12:31 pm

Matt Harrison looks dressed like he could have been at the Rangers first ever home game, when they presented all the players with cowboy hats.
dave @ May 18th, 2009 at 1:57 pm

How about “Today we spell “redemption”… R-O-N. ”

or

“He’s standing in the middle of the baseline saying, “You gotta take home plate from me!” So there I go head first… ”

or

“When everything’s a little clearer in the light of day / And we know the night is always gonna be there anyway. “
Pattie @ May 18th, 2009 at 2:02 pm

Elvis: Do you think Evan will mind me borrowing his wig?
Longhorn Matt @ May 18th, 2009 at 3:15 pm

60% of the time, the Rangers win every time.
Eric Celeste @ May 18th, 2009 at 3:24 pm

“For just one night, let’s not be co-workers. Let’s be co-people.”
Quoner @ May 18th, 2009 at 4:34 pm

Mr. Andrus, you have a massive erection.
Jolly @ May 18th, 2009 at 5:15 pm

Trust me baby, I play baseball better than I dress!
Mike E @ May 18th, 2009 at 5:31 pm

“Auditions for Bosley in remake of Charlie’s Angels TV show.”
Troy @ May 18th, 2009 at 6:07 pm

“The Rangers do not now, nor have they ever condoned the 1970s”
Troy @ May 18th, 2009 at 6:08 pm

That should actually say…
“Disclaimer: The Rangers do not now, nor have they ever condoned the 1970s”

InsideCorner is a daily blog-slash-online sports page, covering Dallas teams with original reporting, statistical analysis, obvious observations, and undeniable charm.

Subscribe via RSS (What is RSS?)

Follow InsideCorner on Twitter

InsideCorner Email Newsletter (Sign up!)

Email:

Browse the Archives

Browse the Archives

About/Contact

Meet the Bloggers